26 Feb G Day Stories: Lee-Anne

(MOM) PARADIGM, def. ‘The way we view our world as moms changes as we learn to love and accept ourselves as we are.’ Lee-Anne Ekland’s blog focuses on healthy living, lifestyle, parenting, wine, and skincare. This journey is amazing and through her child’s eyes so much more fantastic and fun. This post is reprinted with permission from her blog.

Look at this girl. What do you see?

I see a girl about twenty years old. Beautiful. Intelligent eyes. Confident. Ready to explode onto the scene, the world hers for the taking.

But that wasn’t to be

Underneath the lovely exterior, she was weak.

She was without faith in her ability and inner strength. She suffered from an inability to understand her wonder. She misunderstood love.

So it’s no surprise she didn’t see it coming

He latched on quickly to her, and her to him. He showered her with gifts, told over and over that she was loved. She was the one he said. She was perfect. She deserved his love.

There was the other side

When asked what his ideal woman looked like, he said, ‘She has green eyes and red hair.’

She wanted to be that for him but of course she couldn’t. But she struggled to make the best of a bad situation. It wasn’t like she had any other option.

She convinced herself that what he said was the truth. She convinced herself that his plan for her was the only option she had.

She loved him because she didn’t love herself

He isolated her from her friends. He watched her every move, controlled her. He told her what to wear, and what not to. He was insanely jealous seeing her making eyes at men who weren’t on her radar.

She loved him as he continued to belittle her. She gave away the last shred of confidence she had.

The self-doubt she carried grew as he continued to beat her down. She came to believe that being treated this way was normal for a girl like her. Didn’t she deserve to be treated this way? After all the most important male role model in her life had abandoned her.

Surely, he could save her?

Instead he broke her

‘You’re not good enough!’ ‘You’re too fat.’ ‘You have bad skin.’ ‘You’re too tall.’ ‘You’re ugly.’ ‘Your blue eyes should have been green.’

He won

She felt unworthy. Ugly. Unloved. But still she stayed. He raged. And put his hands around her throat, choking her. He released her but it was too late. It changed everything.

If I could talk to this girl now…

I would say…

‘As the most important person in your life, love yourself first. It is all that matters.’ ‘Have a fierce belief in yourself.’ Know that your actions impact those around you without fail.’ ‘Don’t let anyone tell you that you are not perfect just the way you are.’ ‘Be kind to everyone, especially yourself.’ ‘Live your life with a compassionate heart.’ ‘When you look in the mirror be gentle. Smile more. Look past the flaws. See yourself.’

And most importantly…

‘Thank you.’

Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to realize your worth. For that, I thank her. She was a survivor if nothing else. That girl was IS me.

What would you say if you could talk to this girl?

G Day for Girls is coming to Vancouver on April 28th. Please support this important cause that reaches out to our girls. They deserve a bright future free from bullying, free from pain.

You can contact Lee-Anne Ekland at Mom Paradigm: momparadigm.com, on Facebook, on Twitter @leeanneekland, on Instagram @leeanneekland, on Pinterest, or on Google+.